A worker’s complaint, a manager’s great opportunity

Friends,

One of the most frequent issues raised by readers is this: “What can you do about a boss who thinks his ideas are the best, who continues to act like a technician instead of a manager, who wants to micromanage every issue and solve every problem; a manager who is thus choking off initiative, creativity, candor, and teamwork?” These readers resonate with a fellow I wrote about who quit his job because he was told “we don’t pay you to think.” These workers are frustrated and are convinced that their employers are not getting anything near their best value. Today, I want to address this problem from the perspective of such a manager, and next week, I will write about it from the perspective of the person being managed.

Are you such a manager? Few would admit it. But, perhaps it’s misleading to think that you are or aren’t a controlling manager. Yes-no. True-false. Good-evil. For the fact is that at different times in our careers, and under different circumstances, nearly all of us will act to over-control people and work. I know that under different circumstances for me - e.g., when I’m not feeling well, or am agitated or frustrated - I will be much more controlling than at other times. So my first suggestion to every manager, parent, teacher, coach, or other person in charge is this: question your assumption that you don’t over-control, and assume for a moment that this message applies to you. For the truth is this: it’s baked into the system of authority that people will not feel like they can tell you! Few cultures allow an employee or a player or a child to say: “Get off my back! Let me think. Let me make a mistake once in a while. For Pete’s sake, will you listen?” When they do so, it’s in sheer frustration, and generally doesn’t lead to a happy outcome for anyone.

So, you have to keep asking yourself: Am I managing these people, or am I putting manacles on these people? And if, or when, you are not sure if you are over-managing, take this very simple step: start to ask them! “Hey, do you feel like I am giving you the freedom and support to control your work and contribute to the team?” And listen to the answer.

Such openness will lead directly into this discipline to help you get the most out of your people: Encourage your own belief that there is not a single right way, and that you are not uniquely possessed of that right way. Get open to others! This has two powerful implications. First, the most important thing you can do to generate great energy and ideas, is to believe that people have those insights. This means checking your normal, human tendency to think that you understand it best and understand it all, and it means checking your skeptical view of your workers. If you think your workers aren’t as smart as you, don’t care about the work, can’t possibly see all that you see, etc., then . . . well . . . they won’t. If you can’t see it, they won’t be it. Your first job is to believe in them. And if your arrogance or pride - we all have a little of that - or your insecurity - we all have that, too - are inflating you, then you can bet you are deflating them. If you’re not expecting their contribution, input, ideas, and candor, then pretty soon they’ll stop generating them. How much DO YOU believe in your people’s ability and value?

Questioning whether you know “the right way” will lead you away from an either-or world into a both-and world. Very seldom is the coach or parent or manager totally in the right, and the player, child, or worker totally in the wrong. Instead, there are different perspectives and different truths. Here is the most powerful thing an authority figure can due to build their credibility and to fuel their team’s energy and activity: simply hear, think about, and clearly acknowledge their ideas and contributions. Verbalize it back to them! “So what you’re saying is . . . ?”

Verbalize their ideas in the most clear and favorable way you can - not to get ready to prove them wrong, but to understand what they’ve got right. That will help you give it honest thought, and see the value and see their value. Then they will feel listened to. Such listening will also inevitably change the situation from an either-or, right-wrong, to a both-and where you can say, “I see what you’re getting at; is there a way we can achieve what you are after?” Get them, then, to help you achieve what you are after, instead of telling them, “No. We can’t do that. We have to do it my way.”

In summary, I suspect that we can all get short-term results and generate long-term energy and enthusiasm from our teams if we commit to continually breaking out of a boss-knows-best mode of thinking. Question yourself. Hear them. Articulate their views out loud. And engage them in the search for win-win. Doing these things could dramatically improve the quality of work of your team. Let go of that little Wizard of Oz in you, that needs to be right and in control, and instead…

Lead and learn with your best self

Dan