Are really great leaders really so great?

Friends,

Our sixteen year old daughter was invited to give a speech to a youth leadership group this past weekend. The youth planners thought it would be good to hear from a peer, so they invited Kate. She practiced her points with me in the car on the way to Midland, but she was stuck on how to begin. I explained to her one of the first principles I learned about public speaking: establish common ground with your audience.

I told her, “You are going to be introduced as a varsity athlete, national honor society member, etc., and you are the governor’s daughter. They are going to think you are a big deal, or think you think you’re a big deal; and they may be intimidated or jealous or just not feel like they can relate to you, so it’s important that you somehow let them know you are real.” She drew from this ideas that it would be okay to share with them that she was really nervous, and she decided to tell them that usually when she is nervous she likes to joke around, but she wasn’t sure how this would work out since it was a serious topic. I affirmed her approach, saying that to be honest, humble, and a little self-effacing was a great way to connect. And she did it. She was genuine, and to her dad’s view, sweetly silly; and the audience seemed to appreciate her honesty. She connected with them.

What a great lesson for her: the leader doesn’t have to know everything. Indeed, the leader gains more credibility by being real than by being - what he or she thinks is - perfect and in control. Would that we could all remember that lesson as adults! Get real. Laugh at yourself a little.

In the Christian tradition, we have begun the week of the passion of Jesus, culminating on Easter morning. No matter your views of religion and belief, you can’t argue with the fact that Jesus offers a fascinating example of a grassroots leader, whose impact was and is vast. When I was preparing for a talk at a church a few weeks back I was re-reading the New Testament. With my leadership lens never far away, the following passage caught my attention, less as Christian dogma, than as fascinating leadership thought. As I listened to my daughter this weekend, I could hear a pleasant echo to the style of leadership that Jesus was impressing upon his followers. Whether you are Christian or not, you might well appreciate the philosophy Jesus offered:

“Jesus summoned them and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and the great ones make their authority over them felt. But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant; whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave. Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.’” (Matthew 20: 25-28)

I know I am drawn in my role - and with my ego - to think it’s about me, my importance, my ideas, my success, my advancement. I appreciate the reminders that it is about them not me, and about our common humanity and common struggles, not my uncommon greatness. For, ironically, it is by being honest and human and humble that you…

Lead with your best self,

Dan