Father leaders and needy sons

Friends,

Tim Russert of Meet the Press, has followed up last year’s acclaimed tribute to his father Big Russ with a compilation of the stories that readers poured out to him in response to that first book. This one is called Wisdom of Our Fathers. Hearing Russert talk about it made me think of my own hero, Jack Mulhern (1928-1996). His two favorite words were sacrifice and love. He pronounced them with his actions even more than his tongue. The achievement he was unquestionably most proud of was that all 7 of his kids earned college degrees.

Big Russ and Dad inevitably turn my gaze to less fortunate kids, to think, “there, but for the grace of God, go I.” I have mentored two boys in the past four years. One raised by a single mom, whose love, determination, encouragement and discipline with her children inspired me. The other whom I mentioned in last week’s RFL is being raised by his grandmother, who’s valiantly trying to fill the chasm in his parentless life. 40% of American children spend part of their lives in single-parent households. Estimates are that 70% of African American boys are being raised without fathers. Many of their biological fathers were themselves raised without fathers.

From a moral standpoint, these children belong to all of us. We have the opportunity to put a finger on the scale of life that is weighted so heavily against them. I mentor because my father’s love (and some would well say, my Father’s love) was unearned. Dad put his whole self on that scale for each of us.

90% of our prison population is male. While some worry about the fairness of college admissions and the morality of affirmative action, I worry about prison admissions and the lack of affirmative action to keep children out, especially African American boys.

33% of our mentor population is male. Why not think about putting your finger on that scale of justice? Call 1-800-VOLUNTEER to learn about mentoring programs in your area (in Michigan , you can also go to www.mentormichigan.org). Have a hand in crafting the lives of young people who through no fault of their own, are longing for a friend, who will,

Lead with their best self,

Dan

P.S. I will write soon about women and leadership. While I worry much about our boys, I readily acknowledge that critical fields remain tilted against our girls and women.