The confidence to generate ownership

Friends,

Last week I wrote about how leaders sometimes have to “hold people’s feet to the fire.” I gave the example of not letting my son Jack quit our tennis game. And I promised this week to write about strategies to create more ownership of the work in those you lead. Josh Freedman, who edits a rich website on emotional intelligence called 6seconds.org, wrote back and put an exclamation point on why this ownership is so important. He wrote:

“Generally I find this ‘feet to the fire’ metaphor leads people to power struggle. For me the central issue of accountability is that no one can actually hold someone else accountable, and trying to do so generates a battle that’s about control, not about accountability. Real accountability only comes from within.”

As you think about those whose feet you are holding to the fire most frequently, I’ll bet you do find yourself in power struggles where they actively or passively rebel, you try to push them, and they rebel further, in a frustrating downward cycle. I’d bet these are the same people in whom you’d love to evoke a sense of accountability. You know that if they possess that sense of ownership or accountability they can take on the hard work required to meet the needs of the team and achieve a great sense of personal success. So, if you find that you are frequently in the position of using your sticks and carrots to keep people in the game, you might consider the following strategy.

The primary strategy demands an awful lot — not of them, but — of you! You have to believe that with a push, they will be able to pedal that bike or write that brief, figure out that spreadsheet or hit their sales goals. If you don’t believe it, they will sense that, and the prophecy will often be self-fulfilling. There are a thousand ways your doubt can be written on your face, not quite concealed in your tone, or apparent in your over-management.

I am often struck that even with people at high levels — of salary, power, experience, etc. — self doubt frequently looms large. Even when working with these folks, I consider it one of my first and continuing jobs to keep seeing them succeeding — seeing it in my mind, in order to help bring about success in reality. And if it’s true of the high achievers, then what of those who aren’t on any one’s all star roster? If they don’t believe in themselves, and I don’t believe in them, should I be surprised that I’m constantly trying to drag them into the game?

My faith in them as leader is absolutely necessary, the sine qua non. Admittedly, it is necessary but not sufficient. Next week I will talk about other ways to stimulate that sense of ownership. But, as this is the key strategy, and it’s subtle, and we’re seldom taught how important it is, I want to leave it with you as the question to ask about the people you find you are most often needing to control and whose feet you are frequently holding to the fire: Do I fully believe in them and their ability?

You’ve got to have faith to…

Lead with your best self,

Dan