Comments on: Candor: Powerful yet in need of protection

by: Coaching Executive Life

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:26:43 +0000

Psychic Medium and Life Coach…

Do you spend most of your time wondering how you are going to find the one person that is right for you?…

by: Desiree

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 13:13:55 +0000

Good morning! In my younger days as a parent I would provide my daughters with their options when confronted with a barrier. Of late, I have learned the value of a good question. For example, not all that long ago when our oldest daughter shared a conflict she was facing I caught myself letting her know that she had THREE options and instead asked her what were her options? She thought and thought then responded, well actually I have at least 5. Hmm. 5? As we moved through this process of digging deeper with meaningful questions she suddenly stood up, thanked me for the “coaching”, and made a decision. She was not limited by my three ideas but found herself exploring all that she could do then all that she was willing to do. Yes, there is enormous power in good questions.

Desiree from Petoskey!

ps loved the clip of MI!!

by: dan

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 00:51:37 +0000

Desiree,
There is a lot of wisdom packed in this little blog comment. Taking the long view can change everything. And you also hit on the enormous power of a good question!
Thanks for the wise contribution!
Dan

by: Dan Mulhern

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:28:59 +0000

Barry,
I love your articulation about alignment and the image of the skeleton! From a fine military person like yourself it makes me think of the beauty and rightness of a soldier at attention, or a martial artist offering respect through his physical posture.
How critical it is to keep talking and working the values.
Dan

by: Dan Mulhern

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 02:26:43 +0000

Chander,
There is no doubt risk, as you put it. And there is a reward of conscience. There is also the reward of growth, of engaging life and seeing where it goes. The mainstream media — especially the conservative wing — has taken to reading my material not to understand but to attack. My first instinct is to feel, and then respond in defense; but there’s a satisfaction in having written something that sparks a response, and there is a new opportunity to learn! Maybe they have something to say. Maybe I could have put it better. Maybe I didn’t understand the complexity. In a large sense this adds to my knowledge, experience, connection. If this were a job, and they were my managers, perhaps I would be fired. But I would have gained a whole lotta knowledge for next time.
I’m with you: keep living with your conscience and trusting that you can work the consequences!
Dan Mulhern

by: Desiree

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:02:33 +0000

If I may take a moment to state that change in culture is very possible and candor can be addressed. Often it seems cyclical yet I challenge the readers to embrace the fact that change is a process not an event. Keeping this in mind has given me comfort as I have pushed forward and at other times let the dust settle. Finally, timing really is significant, isn’t it? Is candor a dressing down or another perspective with facts? Does it have to be a challenge as much as it is “what would it look like if….?” Desiree Simon

by: Byron

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 17:30:40 +0000

I’ve been reading Al Gore’s book, “The Assault on Reason”. It addresses the weakness that candor has in today’s public discourse. We are expected to be lying even when we are being completely honest and candid. This is a troubling development in that the ability to trust another’s word is diminishing to the point of institutionalized paranoia. I’ve been involved in a neighborhood issue that demonstrates this principle at work, where no one speaks directly at anyone. Everyone makes assumptions. Appeals are made to exclusivity versus conversation about facts. Everyone is trying to cover themselves from the fallout of the one making the most noise, accusations and calls for officials to be fired. Those who are trying to be reasonable are all being called the bad guys. Jealousy, greed, fear and hatred all can hide behind the smoke screen of this lack of candor thing that is plaguing us. The worst of human nature rears up in these occasions and it drives those who try to be leaders tend to stand on the sideline to see who has the upper hand and then choose sides with the victorious. This is disengenuous. We are in desperate straits as a society this way. God help us to stand in the light with all this pressure to go do things in the dark.

by: carole t

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 16:45:24 +0000

When leaders lose confidence and react by lashing out rather than engaging in honest, constructive dialogue we loose so very much. Truly the ‘tipping point’ between being a pretty good leader and a great leader appears to be candor and the capacity to articulate passionately and honestly the condition of the organization and self. When leaders react without candor they often leave people and systems confused and frustrated. Often times we see that if the leader was able to dialogue and engage in strong discussion about issues with team members all the misunderstandings, the perceived issues, and tensions melt away as the energy and efficiency of the team is built up. Leaders show their true colors when under extreme pressure, sometimes those colors are surprising. The wonderful Francis Hesselbein said it best when she said…”leadership is about teaching how to BE not how to do.

by: M. J. M. Estrada

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:44:21 +0000

I have often been accused of being far ‘too candid’ in my career and yes, I agree that the status quo does not support “career growth” with respect to ‘being candid or courageous’. I’m providing the URL to a 132 Page book I just wrote; it was released last week: (The Integrity Channel). After spending nearly three years as a consultant in the automotive industry (25+ year executive business veteran among other F100 industries, all told). It’ short, entertaining, insightful, provocative and candid. It’s about getting leaders in all organizations to ‘think’ about their culture and communications from a different perspective. I invite you to visit my Amazon author page: www.theintegritychannel.net & pick up a copy of the book. It might help you begin to start asking the questions that will lead to the answers you’re searching for. A portion of the proceeds to the book are being donated to the Asperger’s Society (San Jose/Orange County) www.aspergersociety.com — so it’s a win-win! Enjoy the book and I look forward to your feedback on the thoughts that it produces which are in line with your discussion. (mjm)

by: Rep. Fred Durhal, Jr.

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 15:04:02 +0000

Candor is important in determining truth. One cannot be deceptive in analysis of issues and problems. Solutions come from truthful recognition. If one has honor, s/he must be candid. A half-truth is a lie. To repeat that lie, or to even accept it, compounds the difficult search for truth. People who are candid in political situations often risk reprisal. When this happens, the truth becomes overcome with fear. That further obscures truth. Humans have a natural tendency to not want to be told the ‘real skinny’. However that feeling must be substituted with a burning desire to discover where the real truth lies. Truth is not in concealment nor obscurity. Candor is truth. Unfortunately, we are most often surprised and refreshed by what should be an everyday occurance by leaders.

by: Berri Meyers

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 14:55:31 +0000

Candor is an essential tool within the Leadership toolbox, but because it is a pointed and very sharp tool it must be used very carefully - and with precise timing. Other readers point out valid conflicts between candor and organizational culture. At times it may be critically necessary to change the organizational culture, slowely over time. Culture only changes (for the better) when demonstrated organizational behaviors reflect the organizational Values. Likewise, when demonstrated organizational behaviors are contradictory to organizational Values, then culture changes for the worse. This alignment of demonstrated behaviors with stated Values, or it’s misalignment, remains the skeleton of organizational culture. Consider our Congress, your church, your political party, your work group, product warranty action, a retail store, etc.

Berri Meyers

by: Mark John Hunter

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:45:32 +0000

Candor is a main charactor trait I look for in political candidates. As a citizen, and sometimes as a journalist, I have asked difficult questions of elected officials and condidates. The officials and candidates who show anger, or arrogance in response to difficult questions are the ones I do not vote for.

So often I have heard journalists privately say that a candidate, government official, or corporate spokesperson lied to them, but then the reporter does not write in their article that they were lied to. The day reporters, report the lies and identify the lies as lies, is the day we have a free press.

Mark John Hunter
Alpena

by: Chander M Malhotra

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 13:24:16 +0000

I agree that candor is essential for progress. The question is, how do you overcome the politics and the culture of the organization to make a difference? We know the problem. We do not have tested ways of solving it. If Mr. Ford had difficulties in changing the culture, where is the hope for others? What I have noticed over my many years in corporate life is that those who tell the truth are definitely more courageous and are at peace with their conscious. However, they do compromise their career growth because the existing culture does not accept them. I would still rather be right and truthful, than political and a roadblock to progress.