Comments on: Are You Open to Some Coaching? http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/ A weekly stimulant for those who lead Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:20:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.5 by: Popular Science http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-15596 Sat, 06 Oct 2007 02:23:46 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-15596 <strong>Popular Science</strong> I couldn't understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting Popular Science

I couldn’t understand some parts of this article, but it sounds interesting

]]> by: Marcia Marcia Marcia » Blog Archive » Are you open to some coaching? http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-12807 Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:59:30 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-12807 [...] Although I hear myself regularly repeating Dan’s words, his recent piece “Are You Open to Some Coaching” hit home on many levels here in the Conner household. [...] […] Although I hear myself regularly repeating Dan’s words, his recent piece “Are You Open to Some Coaching” hit home on many levels here in the Conner household. […]

]]> by: Marcia Conner http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-12805 Mon, 03 Sep 2007 03:15:39 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-12805 I read your column each week, and find myself repeating comments from it regularly, but "Are You Open to Some Coaching" wins as my very favorite. Not only are we big fans of any lesson that comes from tennis, our 3-year old son has 2 parents who are coaches (he tells anyone who will listen, "Dada is a tennis coach, Mama is a people coach") and not coaching him constantly is something we need to coach ourselves on each day. Many thanks. I read your column each week, and find myself repeating comments from it regularly, but “Are You Open to Some Coaching” wins as my very favorite. Not only are we big fans of any lesson that comes from tennis, our 3-year old son has 2 parents who are coaches (he tells anyone who will listen, “Dada is a tennis coach, Mama is a people coach”) and not coaching him constantly is something we need to coach ourselves on each day. Many thanks.

]]> by: Robert Davis http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11898 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 14:05:58 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11898 Well Dan, this is at the top of the charts - honesty comes from some of the weirdest places - our children. I can relate to this and I know you have growns from hearing it. Leading is living (modeling) what we teach! Thanks Kate. (our future President) Well Dan, this is at the top of the charts - honesty comes from some of the weirdest places - our children. I can relate to this and I know you have growns from hearing it. Leading is living (modeling) what we teach! Thanks Kate. (our future President)

]]> by: dan http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11866 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:19:37 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11866 Veronica, That's a great question. I'd say a parent does more "challenging" than a coach necessarily would. As mom or dad sometimes we push and pull in appropriate ways - especially earlier on - than I generally would as an executive coach. In the latter role, I am listener, mirror, clarifier. But with my kids I am an advocate, sometimes a tough one: I expect a certain level of grades, or savings, or time at the piano. I might hold their feet to the fire via conssequences that I control. The older they get the more of a traditional coach I become, I suppose, allowing them to set most of the terms. A parent also ought to create/share a sense of belonging in the world: e.g., What does it mean to be a Mulhern? What are the Sanitate's all about? I had Joe Dumars on my radio show the other day, and it was so clear that he and his 5 brothers all got a sense of what their family values were all about, what they stood for. How wonderful to head of to MSU or FAMU or wherever with a sense that you are someone in the world. I love your question. Those are my top-of-mind answers. --Dan Veronica,

That’s a great question. I’d say a parent does more “challenging” than a coach necessarily would. As mom or dad sometimes we push and pull in appropriate ways - especially earlier on - than I generally would as an executive coach. In the latter role, I am listener, mirror, clarifier. But with my kids I am an advocate, sometimes a tough one: I expect a certain level of grades, or savings, or time at the piano. I might hold their feet to the fire via conssequences that I control. The older they get the more of a traditional coach I become, I suppose, allowing them to set most of the terms.

A parent also ought to create/share a sense of belonging in the world: e.g., What does it mean to be a Mulhern? What are the Sanitate’s all about?
I had Joe Dumars on my radio show the other day, and it was so clear that he and his 5 brothers all got a sense of what their family values were all about, what they stood for. How wonderful to head of to MSU or FAMU or wherever with a sense that you are someone in the world.
I love your question. Those are my top-of-mind answers.
–Dan

]]> by: Mike Gaunt http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11865 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:06:09 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11865 Dan: GREAT insight! So many times we tell kids what NOT to do. It works better with kids and adults to tell them WHAT to do. And it works even better to just be quiet at times and enjoy the moment. I'm constantly amazed at what my 3 year old daughter teaches me when I stop "coaching" her on what we are doing, and start listening to what she is thinking about. Mike Gaunt, Superintendent Chassell Township Schools Dan:
GREAT insight!

So many times we tell kids what NOT to do. It works better with kids and adults to tell them WHAT to do. And it works even better to just be quiet at times and enjoy the moment.

I’m constantly amazed at what my 3 year old daughter teaches me when I stop “coaching” her on what we are doing, and start listening to what she is thinking about.

Mike Gaunt, Superintendent
Chassell Township Schools

]]> by: Mike http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11851 Tue, 21 Aug 2007 22:30:02 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11851 ...and my daughter walks in to my home office with her elbows firmly at her sides, her forearms stuck out at 45 degree angles and her palms turned up in a "What were you thinking?" pose. "Dad, I can't believe you did that. I think you know better." She was right. I know better. I wasn't thinking. No excuses are going to fly. So I sit there are listen as the hands go from palms up disbelief to fists on hips outrage. Do I laugh, or maybe cry, just a bit. She's right and she's five. Mike …and my daughter walks in to my home office with her elbows firmly at her sides, her forearms stuck out at 45 degree angles and her palms turned up in a “What were you thinking?” pose. “Dad, I can’t believe you did that. I think you know better.”

She was right. I know better. I wasn’t thinking. No excuses are going to fly. So I sit there are listen as the hands go from palms up disbelief to fists on hips outrage.

Do I laugh, or maybe cry, just a bit. She’s right and she’s five.

Mike

]]> by: Bro Jim http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11830 Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:52:31 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11830 Kate is wise beyond her years with that one. I love it when my kids humble me -- makes me, well, humble. JM Kate is wise beyond her years with that one.
I love it when my kids humble me — makes me, well, humble.
JM

]]> by: Donna K. http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11826 Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:18:52 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11826 Thank you Dan for sending the sincere and thoughtful ideas on the challenges of leadership, informative comments preseneted by diverse group of people and directions for this technically challenged RFL subscriber. This IS a great gift. Thank you Dan for sending the sincere and thoughtful ideas on the challenges of leadership, informative comments preseneted by diverse group of people and directions for this technically challenged RFL subscriber. This IS a great gift.

]]> by: Claudette http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11781 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 21:12:20 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11781 Gotta love those kids! They are frank and true to their thoughts. No embellishments! As adults, we are not always candid and probably less open to realizing that we can always learn a new way. cheers. Gotta love those kids! They are frank and true to their thoughts. No embellishments! As adults, we are not always candid and probably less open to realizing that we can always learn a new way.

cheers.

]]> by: Sherri Garoutte http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11775 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 19:53:37 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11775 Oh, boy: Convicted! Thanks for the reminder. I loved the "not enough air, just a lot of gas from Dad" example. Oh, boy: Convicted!
Thanks for the reminder.
I loved the “not enough air, just a lot of gas from Dad” example.

]]> by: Veronica http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11769 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 17:13:18 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11769 Dan, That was a great one! Thanks for the reminder --very timely as Mike gets ready to go off to MSU and I think, "but wait, I forgot to tell/coach/nag you about..." Not only is it too late, my "coaching" was probably only marginally effective to begin with. But this is a question maybe you could address -- the difference between good coaching and good parenting. Love, Aunt V. Dan,

That was a great one! Thanks for the reminder –very timely as Mike gets ready to go off to MSU and I think, “but wait, I forgot to tell/coach/nag you about…” Not only is it too late, my “coaching” was probably only marginally effective to begin with. But this is a question maybe you could address — the difference between good coaching and good parenting.

Love,
Aunt V.

]]> by: dan http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11765 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:19:28 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11765 Thanks David. Glad you're enjoying Everyday Leadership - my book and your practice! Thanks David. Glad you’re enjoying Everyday Leadership - my book and your practice!

]]> by: dan http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11764 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:18:34 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11764 Thanks for the additional resource. Thanks for the additional resource.

]]> by: dan http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11763 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:17:22 +0000 http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/2007/08/are-you-open-to-some-coaching/#comment-11763 Barb, Your comment "thanks for taking the time to be human" made me chuckle. I've tried taking the time to be divine, but it's just never worked out for me! Human's the next best thing :-) D. Barb,
Your comment “thanks for taking the time to be human” made me chuckle. I’ve tried taking the time to be divine, but it’s just never worked out for me! Human’s the next best thing :-)
D.

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