Speaking of Leadership
Dan on Twitter- danmulhern: Mi Repubs claim to be biz-like. But what biz person wld not spend $ where profit looks sure? Pure wimps on tourism! #michigan
- danmulhern: Sandra Bullock Leads http://www.danmulhern.com/wordpress/category/rfl/
- danmulhern: 1st trip to Tigers' spring training. Very cool.
- danmulhern: This week's radio show on the very cool & changing world of #communitycolleges listen sat 7am EST http://bit.ly/8zSTB0
- danmulhern: #leadchange A very interesting movement on LinkedIn that's about leading from who you are, not from what your position is!
Dec
31
Choose to make it great in ‘08
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Friends,
A new beginning!!! Woo hoo!!! I’m seizing the chance to wrestle freedom from the clutches of habit and external limits. I’m not sure which is more amazing – how freedom remains an option or how increasingly daunting habit and circumstance appear. I’m treasuring the possibility to choose my attitude, choose my thoughts, and choose my behavior, in a special way this week, as I mark not only a new year but the end my first half century on the topside of this planet. Yup, I’m turning 50.
At 16, the freedom and therefore possibility that I could be and do anything enthralled me. From about 22, reality unceasingly insisted itself upon me. Limits continually arose, as if out of a mist: the external terrain and my time, talent, and temperament were fixed and constrained possibility. But despite the realization of every unavoidable limit – freedom remained, and in a sense became therefore more precious and amazing.
So, I won’t just let external circumstances or inner habit dictate how things will be for me. Instead, I’ve written out goals for 2008. And I’m leading a retreat this month to invite others to boldly write theirs. I hope you too will exercise the extraordinary freedom to detach yourself from external circumstance and inner habit, and choose the path you’ll take this year. Making choices and setting an intention about what you want has power to blow away what appear to be unavoidable limits.
And we can choose to keep exercising freedom in the year ahead. How amazing that we can admit the limit – 2007 is gone forever – yet choose to start anew, able to choose our attitude and action in every one of the practically infinite “now’s†that arise . . . now . . . now. . and again, now.* So, think about writing your goals for the year ahead, and seize the now that is always at hand!
You’ve got to be free to lead with your best self!
Dan
* On the topic of “the now,†one of the best books I have ever read is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I found enormous practical life value in the clarity and insight of his ideas.
Dec
17
You Can Get It Back
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Friends,
Sharp contrasts can wake you up. Consider this one. Many people are not very optimistic about the future – of politics, the country, the economy, or our schools. And their worries about tomorrow dampen and darken their today. Now, here’s the contrast; you won’t be surprised that it has to do with my favorite subject of late, my son Jack, who is 10 years old. Jack is hugely optimistic about a certain event he expects to take place next week. While many adults feel weighed down by their worries about tomorrow, Jack, like so many children, is driving daily joyfully on the fuel of his hopes for tomorrow. He’s unstoppable!
Do you remember being ten – or maybe 3 years old to 14 or more? Remember how all of December was brightened and lightened? It’s why Jack positively sprang out of his seat at the family birthday dinner last weekend, “I get first dibs on doing the dishes,†he exclaimed. What, has the boy lost his mind, thought every adult at his seemingly bizarre expression of responsibility and initiative.
Imagine having that kind of spirit, energy, fuel! And imagine is the word. At 30, 40, 50, 60 years old . . . we are no longer unconsciously competent at being hopeful. But we possess the power, the freedom to choose to imagine a better day, a more hopeful time, the receipt of wonderful gifts, the joy of giving great gifts, and to consciously choose to savor the joy and energy that flow from hope and anticipation.
I am so excited about Christmas, and I am eager for 2008, too. What kind of great things will there be to learn, to try, to play with? What awesome people will I meet or get to know better? Who will gift me with their ideas and their presence. What good gifts can I bestow?
Savor hope. Anticipate a good tomorrow today to . . .
Lead with your best self!
Dan
Dec
9
A Season of Generous Leadership
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Friends,
What would you say is the first thing a person must have to be a leader? Ambition? Confidence? Vision? Intellect? This would be a fun discussion; don’t you think?
I’d say the first attribute of a leader is generosity. To lead, by definition, is to reach beyond oneself. The fundamental leadership attitude is one that works to enhance others, individually and collectively.
So, you might see this month as a leadership season, in that it is a season of generosity, of reaching out to others. I’ve put a little Christmas-Holiday spin on my website www.danmulhern.com and offer there some ways to lead and to give; for example, ways to give of your time or treasure. And since it’s a gift-giving season I have put some of my favorite leadership resources out there, in case you want to give gifts that help others grow.  (Included is my own book Everyday Leadership, which I humbly offer for your consideration).
I’m looking forward to offering you another year of Reading for Leading – it will be my ninth! In the meantime, I hope this season will bring you depth and strength of generosity to continue to
Lead with your best self.
Dan
Dec
4
There are many fascinating responses to my RFL post this week on the importance of the family meal. Included among them, Professor Bill Doherty weighs in on the research he’s done and about which I wrote.
I was struck with how two sets of seemingly contradictory comments reveal the same point. Many of those who have commented so far tell wonderful stories of how they created rituals – around the meal or otherwise. Meanwhile others complain – and who wouldn’t appreciate their complaints? – about how hard it is in crazy busy times to have an old-fashioned dinner. These are two sides of the same coin.Â
They are joined in this way: the central job of the leader-in-charge is to drive the culture, to shape the culture, and not just be “at the effect” of broader influences. If a business is lethargic the CEO has to light it up. If a city is unsafe the mayor has to work towards safety. If a team is demoralized the coach’s job is to turn that around. Authorized leaders are responsible for creating and not simply tolerating a way of life.
Families are profoundly challenged by the world around them. We live in a time where over-activity is everywhere. We live in a broader culture, where the news media reflects profound cynicism, and the commercial media promotes materialism and self-gratification at every level. The role of those of us who lead families is not to cave in to these influences of the broader culture, but to create sub-cultures of health and hope and harmony (and harmony involves different notes played at the same time). The family meal is a mighty place to begin to shape the subculture. It’s a great place to lead with your best self.
Dec
3
Friends,
Isn’t it crazy sometimes how the simplest things turn out to be the most powerful? But sometimes it takes some objective research to startle you back to the obvious. That’s what happened to me last week when I had Professor William Doherty of the University of Minnesota on my radio program.  Since you likely face a busy work December, holiday season franticness, but also the impending opportunity for New Year’s resolutions, I thought it made sense to share Bill’s insight with you.
What would you guess is THE most significant activity that you can do to support your children’s psychological and cognitive development? Is it diet, rest, hugs, reading? Doherty says unequivocally that the most significant activity is to have frequent meals together with your entire family. Doherty backs up his findings with a boatload of research. For instance, one study compared families which had more than five or more meals together per week with those who had two or less. They found that in the latter families, children were three times more likely to use marijuana, 2 1/2 times more likely to smoke cigarettes, and 1 1/2 times more likely to use alcohol. Similarly, in studies of academic achievement, the number of family meals was more important than anything –even things like the hours that children studied.
It’s probably not surprising to you that running directly in opposition to this research, over the past 30 years there has been a significant decrease in the amount of family meal time in America (although there is some evidence to suggest that this has begun to change). Professor Doherty gave some marvelous ideas on my show about how to improve both the quality and quantity of meals you spend together as a family (I’ve put a few beneath the body of today’s RFL and would welcome a hearty blog participation on this).
I can’t help but think that the meal is a powerful ritual – for more than just the family. In workplaces where we care so deeply for each other and spend so darned much time together, I wonder if we don’t gain greater power, productivity, and compassion by creating rituals of eating together (maybe it’s part of why Google has all that food around their shops!).  Irrespective of that, I sure appreciated Doherty’s reminder of the extreme importance of eating frequently with my wife and children. I hope it helps you too, to
Lead with your best self,
Dan
Here’s a little more from my conversation with Bill Doherty:
First, if this topic interests you, pick up his book, The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties. It mixes theory and research with very practical thoughts. Here are a few things I picked up from Bill:
1. Create rituals around the meal. For example, set the table together. Or have appetizers like you would at a nice dinner party (even if it’s carrots and celery!).
2. Don’t start asking all the questions that we parents ask, ‘til people have a little food in them (especially if you’re eating late as many of us tend to these days). I know I’m crabby, and I wouldn’t want someone pressing me with questions about my day before I’ve had a bite to eat.
3. Don’t ask those “going nowhere†questions that frustrate them as much as much as their answers frustrate you, “How was your day?â€Â “Fine.â€Â  Ugggh.
4. Instead, pay closer attention to what they’re interested in talking about.  Ask them about stuff they like to talk about.
5. Make it a priority to eat together. Period. Give them a snack if you know you’re going to eat late; the social part trumps the 3-square meals thing. Change your own darned schedule if you need to. And when those teens have activities every night at dinner, sometimes you have to “be the parent,†says Bill, and “lead!â€Â  You explain that the family meal is too important and so they have to cut something loose. What a concept that is.
I’d love for us to share more comments about this, especially what’s working for you?!
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