It’s like at funersls- you hear “he (or she) meant so much to me” or “he did XX for me and it changed my life for the better” or “he was the person I always held up in my mind as my example of what I wanted to become.” You think how sad it is that the person never got to hear it himself.

I try to use these experiences to remind myself that even when I don’t get feedback (good or bad), I am probably still affecting people (in good and bad ways) so I must try to make my affect good.

If you’ve ever read The Little Red Hen http://www.bres.boothbay.k12.me.us/wq/nnash/WebQuest/little_red_hen.htm you’ll understand what I mean when I say that I have the REVERSE problem. There are SO MANY people weighing in on simple decisions that it is IMPOSSIBLE to “bake the bread.” I think feedback can be helpful, but frankly, there is a time when it is better for the project if people would just WEIGH OUT rather than in.

I’ve watched as other leaders and project managers have received opinion after opinion on how something SHOULD be done, but in the end there has been only a single “hen” to implement the plan. I think that if you are willing to offer feedback or “constructive criticism” to someone else’s project, you should also be willing to commit a certain amount of time and energy to making the project a success - that means an investment LABOR as well as opinion.

There are thousands of people who have GREAT ideas; it’s the people who are willing to walk through the process and help turn concepts into realities that really add value. Until those individuals identify themselves as “constants” to the project, the one who is doing the actual work has the opinion that really counts.
J.

I can pity the toxic managers I have known, but there’s serenity in knowing I cannot change them. On a good day, I can change myself… and change the place where I invest my energy. Hopefully, not in any more black holes!

First I would like to start by saying I love your RFL, it truly is inspiring. But with that said, I am frustrated at the same time. Each week I read the RFL and want to hit my head on a brick wall, because my supervisor really needs this information. But I have forwarded the RFL’s in the past to the top and it just doesn’t filter down. Our CEO preaches left and right about open communication and getting along, but it really is not filtering down. I don’t see our top leadership doing this and in turn, my supervisor isn’t getting the tools needed to do the job effectively. The sad part is my supervisor is in a crutical role for the corporation.

How do you give feed back to a supervisor who gets defensive and doesn’t want to hear it. They feel that you are being insubordinate and a war is started? I just don’t know what to do and am at my wits end every day! Basically, the supervisor feels threaten.

Do you have any suggestions?

Thanks!