May

26

Keep Their Spirit Alive

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Friends,

Welcome back from Memorial Day. Sometimes these 4 day weeks put pressure on us to achieve 5 days worth of work. But before you start churning through it all, you might gather up strength and purpose from Memorial Day.

On Thursday, my wife and General Cutler invited the “families of the fallen” soldiers to come together for a memorial service at the Governor’s Residence. While there, a number of family members shared on tape with me what they’d like people to know about their sons. What was most striking to me was the number who talked about how their son (or brother or husband) was so outgoing, gregarious, and fun-loving. Patriotic, too, as you’d expect. But these men displayed an intense energy for life that family members kept talking about. More than a few said, “we tried to talk him out of going” or “going back, but he would not be stopped.”

They fought – and died – for all of us. I wonder if we should remember them not only in thought. But remember them by acting in the spirit they displayed. Their actions invite us to:

* Love our country – get educated, speak, vote, pay our taxes
* Jump into action – even when things are ambiguous – even when people warn us of the risks of action
* Find purpose greater than “me” and “mine” – to live . . . and even die for

Few reading this message will face the potential risk of an IED or a suicide bomber this week.  In gratitude to those who do, live courageously for a great purpose this week, and

Lead with your best self,

Dan

May

19

Leader or Whiner

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Friends,

Would you argue with me if I said that we have become a culture of whiners?  Leaders — and of course I use that word not to refer to a position, but to a frame of mind and action — leaders don’t whine.  And our world needs us to lead.

Whining connotes powerlessness.  And unfortunately it also sucks the energy out of others.  Leading does not mean turning a blind eye to difficulties.  Indeed, good leaders are brutally honest about the facts.  But then, consciously or otherwise, when they see difficulties they choose one of two paths: acceptance, if the problems lie outside their influence, or action to stimulate change.

So, you might monitor your inner whiner this week!  When some difficulty – a jerk, the weather, the copier, your Achilles tendon, your teenager – is stimulating you whine, take a breath, one deep breath, and ask yourself: will I lead?  If you want to lead, then ask yourself:  Act or accept?

So:  Observe the whiner.  Choose to lead.  And ask yourself: Should I accept it or act?

To lead with your best self,

Dan

May

11

JUST a Great Case of Everyday Leadership

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Friends,

I woke up on Mothers Day excited about writing about moms as the archetypal “everyday leaders.”  I was going to ask you if these words better described a great mom or a great leader:  they encourage, empower, stimulate collaboration, believe in their people, prepare us for the future, and serve others before themselves.  That’s mom – or great leader.  And then I cringed and scratched my head in disbelief when I opened the Free Press and read the lead sentence of an article about a woman running to be the Oakland County Executive.

“Before she was the mayor of Southfield, before she was on the City Council and before she joined the school board,” the writer began, “Brenda Lawrence was just a parent involved in parent-teacher associations for her children.”  Now, I’m not sure why the reader should set aside the fact that this woman’s been a mayor, city council person, and school board member.  But the thing that hangs me up is before that she was “just a parent.”  JUST a parent?  Huh?  Isn’t this 2008?  Just a parent is an insult to any woman – or man – who’s shepherding the most important resource we’ll ever have.

Besides, being a parent can be hugely relevant experience.  Moms, and increasingly dads, do just what municipalities do:  they make sure everybody’s fed, the bills are paid, the lights are on, the kids are getting educated, and we aren’t forgetting about grandma and grandpa.  The fact is that many — perhaps most — women entered politics in just this way.  They cared about their home, their kids, their block and their kids’ school;  then someone said:  “Hey, why don’t you run?”  Humbly – because people told them they were “just a mom” – they agreed to serve.

One more thing.  Raising children is probably pretty good preparation for dealing with the people who act like “siblings” on school boards, city councils, county commissions or legislatures.  As the writer went on to point out about Ms. Lawrence:  “In the late ’90s and early 2000s, Lawrence sometimes calmed an often tumultuous Southfield City Council, where members broke into screaming matches and one councilman threw a book, nearly hitting a city employee.”

Go Moms!  Go on ahead and lead – in whatever venue you choose.  I’m sure grateful that my mom was “just a parent,” and an everyday leader, who always

Led with her best self!

Dan

May

5

Optimists and Skeptics Look For Results in the Week Ahead

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Friends,
One of Colin Powell’s famous guideposts for leadership is, “perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” I always loved the West Point feeling of it: a “force multiplier” sounds so technical and mathematical and militarily strategic. Snap your fingers: you’re optimistic! You’re optimistic, your force has doubled! So today, an example of how optimism works, but also a realistic-skeptical question about how one can — or whether one can – willy-nilly make optimism work for them.

Last Sunday night my wife was complaining of intense abdominal pain. Given her extraordinary optimism, I nearly had to order her to go to the doctor on Tuesday morning. Within 10 hours of a CT scan, surgeons were removing an obstructed section of her small intestine. She was a patient patient for about two days, but as the meds wore off she quickly became her old self, way more optimistic than patient. Tubes were removed; one after the next. Friday morning I walked into her room to find her in her street clothes. Surprised, I asked “Are you showing them that you’re going to will yourself right out of here?” She smiled and said, “You bet.” I suspect that if it had been me, it would have taken me a week to get out of there. She was out in four days. I am utterly certain in this case: Perpetual optimism was a captivity minimizer.

I am drawn to people of optimism. Obviously I married one. I myself have deep-down faith and hope, but I’ve never been a cheery optimist, able to summon it at will. I have to work at my attitude constantly. This Monday morning I offer two thoughts for your consideration. First, optimism IS! a force multiplier. Can you possibly disagree? So second, make a choice to value it. If you can generate it legitimately in yourself, do so, and be grateful you have a gift for it! If you’re (more like me): thinking yourself born of gloomy people, raised in a land without sunshine, the victim of sundry bad moments, “blessed” with a skeptical mind, then recognize that. But look for ways to nudge yourself up the spectrum of hope. Here are a few:

* Consciously ally your self with upbeat people.
* Condition yourself to look for the silver lining.
* Make lists of good things that are happening.
* Look for opportunities and not just problems.
* Take little steps that lead to where you want to go.
* Bear witness to the genuine power of optimism in those who are fortunate to be blessed with it as a natural strength and way of being.

On Tuesday Jennifer knew she was going to be out of the hospital by the end of the week. What success might you will yourself into this week? as you

Lead with your best self!

Dan

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