Many moons ago…back in what my kids call “the dark ages,” I was a minor functionary in a major mess — the Social Security Administration. It was shortly after the advent of Supplemental Security Income benefits, and right about the time of the infamous “notch.” The “notch” was a calculated loss of future benefits caused by decoupling the ongoing benefit calculation from the wage-price index, and required a great deal of explanation.

I was attending a training seminar (TA Judo, I believe) which was supposed to help us deal with customers from the Transactional Analysis (I’m OK, You’re OK) approach. As part of the process, we were required to take part in a role-playing exercise. Our little morality play was to represent participants in a labor-union negotiation session. It was lightly scripted, and we were to carry forward, using our own knowledge and our wits. I was elected to be the union leader and a close friend was the owner’s representative.

We settled in to play our parts and spend what we thought would be a boring half-hour or so. Nothing could have been further from the truth. As the negotiation progressed, and we received feedback from our constituents, the pressure to make gains began to mount. Discussions and negotiations became heated and more urgent by the minute. Believe it or not, after 30 minutes of role-playing, we were no longer playing. Two very good friends were on their feet, crimson faces inches apart, eyes locked and bulging, shouting at the tops of our voices. I was angry. I had trouble controlling the discussion because of the emotions coursing through my body. My friend was out of control and pounding on the table, threatening to sell the business and put us all out of work. I was no better.

When time was called and the pressure bottle was uncorked, we stood for a few moments, realizing what had happened, and began laughing uncontrollably. I learned a most valuable lesson that day — about becoming emotionally invested in debates that required “the Little Professor”… i.e., the cool and rational part of ourselves to be in control.

I believe that properly used, role-playing of this type would be most valuable in learning about our “hot buttons,” and how to avoid letting others press them — or worse pressing them ourselves. It is a fine way to help get a glimpse of your own grace under pressure.

Hope my cautionary tale is of some value. Good issue to discuss.

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I’d add one more step to the process which is to do whatever you can to calm your system down. It’s very hard to change your behavior when you are revved up and freaking out. The best antedote I find is doing something simple — usually exercise, or taking a walk, or saying a prayer, or calling a friend — to release the fear and anxiety and become more grounded in the present moment.

Just one more idea to add to your great suggestions.

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At the end of the month we convert our box truck into a mobile pantry distribution center and take it to a location where we meet up to 30 households a provide emergency groceries. Last Thursday, in addition to groceries delivered with dignity and respect – there was birthday cake and ice cream for everyone! Talk about pressure relief! A challenging late afternoon extra responsibility turned into “the best birthday ever”!

On Friday, the challenges remained but so too did the glow of a shared celebration! Sometimes the pressure relief comes in unexpected ways! Thanks for your wisdom and leadership – Anne

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As we get nearer to elections this Fall, political advertisements and commentaries frequently become focused on the character of the candidates. The political campaign process plays on our oversimplified “good guy/bad guy” perceptions.

There is something in our perceptions that make us instinctively want to explain the world around us in terms of a candidate’s essential attributes or character: “he’s a _____ _____.”

The mistake we make in thinking of character as something unified and all-encompassing is very similar to a kind of blind spot in the way we process information. When it comes to interpreting other people’s behavior, human beings invariably make the mistake of overestimating the importance of fundamental character traits and underestimating the importance of the situation and context.

We do this because we are more attuned to personal cues than contextual cues.

Yet, character is more like a bundle of habits and tendencies and interests, loosely bound together and dependent, at certain times, on circumstance and context. The reason that most of us seem to have a consistent character is that we are really good or really lucky in controlling our living and working environment.

Imagine yourself in one of the hostile environments on planet earth for a sustained period of time and consider how your character might change. Create that image before you go to the polls this Fall to discover how important the situation is in affecting the character of the people living through periods of difficult and structural change.

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