Jan

31

Succeeding at Far Off Goals – Last in a series

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Today in the last of a series on reaching long-term goals, I offer age-old wisdom from Stephen Covey along with a simple, specific tactic.

First, the tactic: create two-week goals.  Take the big long-term goal that you have, and ask yourself this simple question: “What can I accomplish in two weeks that will lead me toward achievement of this big goal?”  I have found that two weeks is a long enough period that you can make real progress on a large project.  In a busy life, a week just may not be enough.  On the other hand, two weeks is a short enough period of time that you have to move; you can’t delay getting going if you want something to show for yourself.

The age-old wisdom comes from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in which Stephen Covey drew for us his famous four quadrant box (if your browser works, you’ll see it below) or you can see it here.  Covey’s four boxes put important things on top and unimportant on the bottom. And they put urgent matters on the left and not urgent matters on the right.  So Covey, along with other management experts, recommends that you minimize the time you spend on “not urgent and not important” (quadrant 4) activities.  Of course, most of us will naturally take care of the urgent and important (quadrant 1).

Where Covey’s quadrants are particularly helpful though is in helping us move to spending precious time and energy on “not urgent but important” (quadrant 2) activities, rather than on “urgent but not important” (quadrant 3) activities.  Often, due to a felt lack of urgency, our big long-term goals languish in quadrant two.  Going back to school, trying a new career, shifting into a new business market, or working on our marriage can all be things which we long to take on, but which simply are not urgent in the habits of our days.  Losing weight can stay in quadrant 3 “important but not urgent” for years, until a heart attack or stroke yank it into quadrant one – urgent and important.

If there’s a goal that’s important to you, yet not urgent on this Monday morning, I encourage you to bump it up on your list.  Ask where you want to be on that goal in 2 weeks, tell a friend you’ve set the goal, and go on ahead and

Lead with your best (most important) self,

Dan

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Jan

27

Kobe Bryant – Mea Culpa

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RFL Readers:

I received two private emails from people who were upset with my choice of Kobe Bryant as a role model for leadership. They were not arguing with Kobe’s work ethic and his turning to a coach to improve his skills. They instead said that his whole character was problematic for them. They pointed out that Kobe had been accused of sexual assault and although not convicted accepted responsibility for it. Kobe released a statement at the time that began: “I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure.”

I shared my thoughts with these two women, and feel it’s right to publicly share this, my own mea culpa:

“Thanks for writing me.  This incident, like so many, was for me a blip on the radar screen (I hardly took note) – I’m not excusing myself, just explaining.  Had I known/remembered this, I wouldn’t have written about Kobe but would have found a less problematic example.

Kobe’s apology read quite powerfully.  It sure is hard to know when an apology is real, isn’t it?  As a social-political matter, I am against holding people like this on a pedestal.  Thus, I don’t think Pete Rose should go into the Hall of Fame.  Nor should the steroid users.  On the other hand, as a personal matter, I hope Kobe’s statement accurately reflects his heart and not just the smooth words of a great PR person (who no doubt was paid for the craft of writing). I believe (and am grateful!) that God creates room for penitence and a new start.  I’m very uncomfortable judging anyone else.  It’s hard enough knowing whether my own heart is clean and my behavior sufficiently reformed.

Jan

24

Hitting the Hard to Reach Goals – Part 3

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THE most important thing to do once you have a clear goal in place is to identify the key driver. By “driver” I mean the key strategy or activity that more than anything else will lead you to your goal. The goal is something you really want; the driver on the other hand may well be something you’re not really geeked about doing. In reaching a big and meaningful goal, diffusion of focus and division of energy are intrepid enemies. Tangents are killers. By contrast, people who reach big, long-term goals keep grabbing the reins of the most important work. So, this “Reading for Leading” is not about reviving your attitude, or reviewing a little knowledge, or a fun story. This RFL invites you to think and focus. I dare you to take me – but especially yourself – seriously, and use a blank sheet and a pen to write one sentence or one word if you’re serious about your long term goal.

Here’s a quick example of a key driver: in a major fund-raising campaign, there are many activities that contribute to success: A good theme and materials, hiring good people, setting an ambitious yet reasonable goal, bringing in new donors, identifying a needed and wanted project for solicitation, cultivating relationships, etc. But there is one key driver and that is having the president or dean or CEO “make the ask of major donors.” And leadership must pay focused attention to that key driver. Many campaigns and campaign leaders will falter because they won’t clearly identify this as the key driver. They may not ask – their board, consultants, and themselves – what the key driver is, because they don’t want to hear the answer: “Dude, you and only you have to ask some people for big amounts of their money!!!!” Few things are harder. They may feel they’re not persuasive. They may hate hearing “no.” They may find the prospective donors to be less than great or enjoyable people. They may much prefer to look at architectural plans for the new wing, hold receptions to brief prospects, or even write fund raising letters. But if they want to reach the goal, asking individual people for major gifts is the key driver. Knowing that is the major first step.

If you’re serious about your goal, get serious about the driver.

Here are some other key drivers – in my experience and in general: For writers, it is setting aside sacrosanct hours every day to write. At some point it may be finding an agent, or letting someone review their work. For managers it’s having regular, focused meetings about the goal and progress towards it. For parents, it is spending quality time with their children. Often, the key driver will be asking somebody else for something: to invest, to donate, to review your writing or listen to your playing, to give you a chance on a big project, to take you on as a mentee, to understand your need for space or intimacy as a lover, to help you stay clean of an addiction at hard moments. Often you can only make this “ask,” if your goal is truly important, and sometimes it takes believing that you are really important, that you matter.

The driver is the strategy that sits between a goal that really matters to you – and the fears and doubts that can undermine you. When you’re clear about the goal and clear about the key driver, it’s a whole lot easier to act and to succeed in spite of all doubt.

On your key goal(s), I encourage you to write down the key driver so you can truly

Lead with your best self!

Jan

17

Succeeding at Far Off Goals – Part 2

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Today, leadership from Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. Yes, superstars. Yes, athletes. And yes, yes, they are relevant for you and me, everyday leaders.

Kobe and MJ exemplify the third and fourth keys in this mini-series of thoughts for those who have a big goal which at times, perhaps most of the time, seems unachievable. Last week I wrote about the importance of protecting the vision in your heart and intention, no matter the reality; and I wrote of the importance of savoring the small wins on the way.

The third key to achieving far off goals is to use setbacks to inform your mind and sharpen your drive. What do you do when you hit a dead end on the way to an important goal, when you’re flat-out defeated on a job interview or sales presentation or art show? Ouch! It’s easy to walk away – not think about why and not want to work so hard again for this – this pain of losing when you have elevated your hopes and worked hard and taken risks! Hoops fans know that Kobe Bryant won three NBA championships, but then the Lakers fell on tough times, losing in or not even making the playoffs for years. He was rich, had his rings, and could have competed comfortably at a super-high level without winning another championship. And, with Jordan, Detroit fans remember proudly that the Pistons thumped young Jordan’s Bulls three years in a row, draping players on him so he couldn’t move. Both Bryant and Jordan used defeat to motivate them. It sharpened their edge. Nobody but you can find this spark, this edge. So find it!!! Know that nothing great is accomplished without setback. Use setback as fuel.

And then the fourth key – also from the hoop greats: get help! Jordan’s response to his third defeat to the hated Bad Boys of Detroit was that he went out and hired Tim Grover, a young personal trainer, and he submitted to Grover’s intense workouts. Grover built the strength Jordan felt he needed to keep the Pistons from wearing him down again. When we watch Michael and Kobe, we see God-given grace and athleticism, the ferocious “eye of the tiger,” and we hear the announcers sanctify these solo heroes. Probably none of us has seen them in a weight room or an empty gym. MJ and Kobe were not alone in their work. Both used Grover and submitted to his regimens.

Here’s what Grover said about MJ and Kobe: “Here’s what they’re willing to do: They understand the sacrifice that it takes . . . They know it’s not just an in-season thing, an offseason thing, a preseason thing. It’s a year-round thing. They have to make sacrifices to go places where you don’t normally want to go.” And what Grover’s not saying is: they got help! Superstars lodged their dreams and goals with someone and gave him license to push them along. Who can you use to help keep you on track? I’m so grateful for my friends and coaches who push me, as I hope someone is pushing you to

Lead with your best self!

Jan

10

Will We Ever Get There – Leading When Success Seems Far Away at Best

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Okay, so I’m done encouraging you to set goals. I’m moving on to a new and nearly universal leadership question: What are the key leadership strategies to succeed when the goals you are striving to reach will take a long time, and when there are variables that may entirely prevent you from reaching them? Perhaps some examples will help. A mayor might have the goal of reducing drug use in her community. Somebody might have the goal of getting the Lions in the playoffs. And the next governor will, if s/he’s smart share my wife’s goal of diversifying Michigan’s economy and heightening our educational achievement levels. Maybe your goal is to lose 50 pounds, publish a book, raise your 12 year old to be a gentleman and a scholar, or maybe you are committed to beat cancer. For all of those examples, and perhaps with your goals, there will likely be tough stretches when it seems goal attainment is all but impossible. This week and following I’ll offer some core strategies to keep moving forward. Two strategies for today.

Develop a key mental discipline to cleanly separate goal and reality. Don’t let your mind drown your goal with the reality of the moment. Okay, so almost nobody can keep that from happening. Instead we say, “I’ll never lose 50 pounds; I’ve lost only 1 pound in three weeks, and that almost killed me!” Or, “How can I reduce the drug trade, when my city council just laid off two police officers.” The dismal thoughts of futility will come unbidden and unwelcome, so the discipline is to keep making this mental separation: goal and reality are two different things. I will NOT let go of my goal. And I WILL keep looking at reality, cuz what is, is. Keep the goal in front of you. On a flip-chart. On your planner cover, your refrigerator, dashboard, the back of your hand, weekly agenda, and prayer list. The goal belongs to the future, to spirit, to faith, to your heart, and reaching it likely means good things for others as well as yourself. So, keep it strong in these realms.

Second, savor and celebrate the small wins. We’ve all learned that elephants can only be eaten one way, and that’s a bite at a time. So, recognize when you have finished eating the elephant’s ear (hopefully at the county fair). Our unstoppable cultural shifts make it hard to stop, and to focus on the positives. The culture wants immediate gratification – part way doesn’t count! Look how little time we’ve given President Obama to solve extraordinarily complex issues like a global recession, terrorism, and health care reform. So, he must work like crazy to find ways to remind us of signs of hope, and point to the data of progress. The culture also loves to see the car crash, what’s a mess, the blood on the highway. It’s not just the media. It’s us. Anyone raising teens to be ladies and gentlemen knows that the tendency is to see all they’re not doing and to dwell on the mistakes. It takes really paying attention to see the wins they’re achieving and not just the goof-ups. But whether it’s a personal goal like dieting, fitness, or going back to school; or if it’s a collective goal, like improving school graduation rates or lowering obesity; energy grows when we focus on gains and not just on losses. In a long race like a half marathon, I bolster myself by mentally walking through all the twists in the road behind me, not dwelling on the miles still to come. When I do that I can feel the energy surge, realizing how far I’ve come and what I have accomplished.

Let me close this week by saying congratulations to the Detroit Free Press which is looking to savor and celebrate the wins as Michigan seeks to diversify. They are seeking nominations to recognize the folks who are making Michigan’s economy more green.

In the following weeks I’ll offer more strategies – and I welcome your observations and strategies – to help pushing ahead when a goal seems distant if not unreachable. That’s the critical work of those of you who want to

Lead with your best self.

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Jan

9

People’s fascinating views of goal-setting

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What are you doing about goal-setting?

Take the 3-question survey on goal-setting: attitudes and best practices.  And see the results.

Click here to take survey

Jan

4

Goal Setting Resources

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Rene asked me in a post if I had any recommendations for time management resources/books. Here are my thoughts, Rene. I welcome others to chime in.

First, I think time management and goal setting are lifelong pursuits. I do it differently year-to-year, trying to hone what works. Here are the two that I would consider the leading candidates when it comes to goal setting resources. I welcome others’ comments:

1. Stephen Covey’s First Things First. As you probably know, he’s now tied in with Franklin (Planner), so there’s both a theory and materials there.  Covey’s a great practical philosopher.

2.  Many people really like David Allen’s Getting Things Done.  Allen’s system is complete and thorough.  A Myers-Briggs STJ would probably LOVE it.  I found it a lot of work. But again, many people swear by what they affectionately call GTD.

That’s a start, I hope!

Dan

Jan

3

Help Me Spread a Positive Virus

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Friends,

I first want to wish you a great 2010. A year in which you set sights that are worthy of the gifts and abilities and dreams you possess. A year in which you take the plunge and engage to make a difference in your world. A year during which you don’t start just the year, but each day, each meeting, each moment, as though it’s new. Cuz guess what . . . it is! Contrary to what Crosby Stills Nash & Young sang, “we have NOT all been here before.”

I am intent on provoking a virus of goal-setting. I invite you to help! So I encourage you to look at the results of last week’s 3-question survey on goal-setting and talk about them with those around you – your team, spouse, special other, kids (if you’d like you can take the survey before seeing the results). Here’s some question-starters: Why don’t we set goals when we know they help? How can we help each other do it? And just as important – see question 3 on the survey – how do we build in the constructs that give us a chance to reach those goals? If you don’t like “goals,” call them delights or visions, hopes or wishes, things that would satisfy you or make you proud, results that matter. But don’t miss the chance to start with an end in mind. And if you’re a leader, you know that helping others find their way is a central part of

Leading with your best self!

Dan

p.s. I still have a few slots open for my “Make 2010 a 10” retreat this Thursday and Friday.

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