Jan

10

Will We Ever Get There – Leading When Success Seems Far Away at Best

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Okay, so I’m done encouraging you to set goals. I’m moving on to a new and nearly universal leadership question: What are the key leadership strategies to succeed when the goals you are striving to reach will take a long time, and when there are variables that may entirely prevent you from reaching them? Perhaps some examples will help. A mayor might have the goal of reducing drug use in her community. Somebody might have the goal of getting the Lions in the playoffs. And the next governor will, if s/he’s smart share my wife’s goal of diversifying Michigan’s economy and heightening our educational achievement levels. Maybe your goal is to lose 50 pounds, publish a book, raise your 12 year old to be a gentleman and a scholar, or maybe you are committed to beat cancer. For all of those examples, and perhaps with your goals, there will likely be tough stretches when it seems goal attainment is all but impossible. This week and following I’ll offer some core strategies to keep moving forward. Two strategies for today.

Develop a key mental discipline to cleanly separate goal and reality. Don’t let your mind drown your goal with the reality of the moment. Okay, so almost nobody can keep that from happening. Instead we say, “I’ll never lose 50 pounds; I’ve lost only 1 pound in three weeks, and that almost killed me!” Or, “How can I reduce the drug trade, when my city council just laid off two police officers.” The dismal thoughts of futility will come unbidden and unwelcome, so the discipline is to keep making this mental separation: goal and reality are two different things. I will NOT let go of my goal. And I WILL keep looking at reality, cuz what is, is. Keep the goal in front of you. On a flip-chart. On your planner cover, your refrigerator, dashboard, the back of your hand, weekly agenda, and prayer list. The goal belongs to the future, to spirit, to faith, to your heart, and reaching it likely means good things for others as well as yourself. So, keep it strong in these realms.

Second, savor and celebrate the small wins. We’ve all learned that elephants can only be eaten one way, and that’s a bite at a time. So, recognize when you have finished eating the elephant’s ear (hopefully at the county fair). Our unstoppable cultural shifts make it hard to stop, and to focus on the positives. The culture wants immediate gratification – part way doesn’t count! Look how little time we’ve given President Obama to solve extraordinarily complex issues like a global recession, terrorism, and health care reform. So, he must work like crazy to find ways to remind us of signs of hope, and point to the data of progress. The culture also loves to see the car crash, what’s a mess, the blood on the highway. It’s not just the media. It’s us. Anyone raising teens to be ladies and gentlemen knows that the tendency is to see all they’re not doing and to dwell on the mistakes. It takes really paying attention to see the wins they’re achieving and not just the goof-ups. But whether it’s a personal goal like dieting, fitness, or going back to school; or if it’s a collective goal, like improving school graduation rates or lowering obesity; energy grows when we focus on gains and not just on losses. In a long race like a half marathon, I bolster myself by mentally walking through all the twists in the road behind me, not dwelling on the miles still to come. When I do that I can feel the energy surge, realizing how far I’ve come and what I have accomplished.

Let me close this week by saying congratulations to the Detroit Free Press which is looking to savor and celebrate the wins as Michigan seeks to diversify. They are seeking nominations to recognize the folks who are making Michigan’s economy more green.

In the following weeks I’ll offer more strategies – and I welcome your observations and strategies – to help pushing ahead when a goal seems distant if not unreachable. That’s the critical work of those of you who want to

Lead with your best self.

Jan

9

People’s fascinating views of goal-setting

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What are you doing about goal-setting?

Take the 3-question survey on goal-setting: attitudes and best practices.  And see the results.

Click here to take survey

Jan

4

Goal Setting Resources

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Rene asked me in a post if I had any recommendations for time management resources/books. Here are my thoughts, Rene. I welcome others to chime in.

First, I think time management and goal setting are lifelong pursuits. I do it differently year-to-year, trying to hone what works. Here are the two that I would consider the leading candidates when it comes to goal setting resources. I welcome others’ comments:

1. Stephen Covey’s First Things First. As you probably know, he’s now tied in with Franklin (Planner), so there’s both a theory and materials there.  Covey’s a great practical philosopher.

2.  Many people really like David Allen’s Getting Things Done.  Allen’s system is complete and thorough.  A Myers-Briggs STJ would probably LOVE it.  I found it a lot of work. But again, many people swear by what they affectionately call GTD.

That’s a start, I hope!

Dan

Jan

3

Help Me Spread a Positive Virus

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Friends,

I first want to wish you a great 2010. A year in which you set sights that are worthy of the gifts and abilities and dreams you possess. A year in which you take the plunge and engage to make a difference in your world. A year during which you don’t start just the year, but each day, each meeting, each moment, as though it’s new. Cuz guess what . . . it is! Contrary to what Crosby Stills Nash & Young sang, “we have NOT all been here before.”

I am intent on provoking a virus of goal-setting. I invite you to help! So I encourage you to look at the results of last week’s 3-question survey on goal-setting and talk about them with those around you – your team, spouse, special other, kids (if you’d like you can take the survey before seeing the results). Here’s some question-starters: Why don’t we set goals when we know they help? How can we help each other do it? And just as important – see question 3 on the survey – how do we build in the constructs that give us a chance to reach those goals? If you don’t like “goals,” call them delights or visions, hopes or wishes, things that would satisfy you or make you proud, results that matter. But don’t miss the chance to start with an end in mind. And if you’re a leader, you know that helping others find their way is a central part of

Leading with your best self!

Dan

p.s. I still have a few slots open for my “Make 2010 a 10” retreat this Thursday and Friday.

to listen to this post.

Dec

27

Lead Towards Your Best Self

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Friends,

This week is just another week.  Today is just another day.  This hour has 60 minutes like every other.  And this instant is all you ever have – a largely unending succession to be sure – but only just this instant to be lived.  And yet we have the capacity to draw back from this moment, hour, day, week, and year, and think big.  For on comes 2010.  Make ready!

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but imagine what you could do in a year:  You could restore a broken relationship.  You could start a new business.  Move to a new city.  Quit buying cigarettes.  Laugh more.  Adjust the work-family balance.  Get out of debt.  Or return to school.  Every iota of good sense makes it vital to ask: Where do I want to be in a year? Do I have the faith in myself to lay claim to a picture of myself at the cusp of 2011 that delights me.  What would add up to delight?  Do you know?  Risk sitting down to discern it and write it down.

In a week and a half I’ll assemble a small group, and I am so excited for them.  They’ll give themselves two days to envision – literally to picture – where they’d like to be in 3 years, and then they’ll work backwards to January 1, 2011 and identify just what would be fulfilling.  They’ll get feedback from smart, caring others, who will help them to decide whether that’s what they truly want, or whether they want to make some adjustments.  They’ll clarify their picture of fulfillment, and then they’ll work backwards from there to the six-month and three-month and six-week intervals to set the strategy and tactics they’ll need to gain the results that truly matter.  There’s still some room available if this kind of process sounds attractive to you, but whether you join me or sign-up for some other structured program, do yourself the huge favor of believing in yourself enough to set aside a couple hours to answer the question, “What do I really want?” and then kick the answers to that question around with people who know you and care about you.  I’m curious about how many of you will set goals.  Take the 1-minute, 3-question survey and we’ll both find out the results!

You only get one chance to start a whole year.  Start it off in a way that you’ll truly lead with and towards your best self!

Dan

Dec

20

Use the Big Deadline

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Friends,

Sheryl Gay Stolberg wrote a fascinating piece on President Obama’s wide-reaching use of deadlines – on Gitmo, health care, Iran, Russian arms deals, and a wide array of other issues – in yesterday’s New York Times.  She suggests the risks can be high when deadlines pass without action or action is forced prematurely, and she points to the upside of focusing attention that can otherwise continually push off decisions.

The President used carrots in his “Race to the Top” educational grant money and the application deadlines for that money stimulated unprecedented debate and decision-making in educational reform.  The Michigan legislature passed a slew of reforms over the weekend.  The deadline drove decision makers to press for the win-wins that have only existed on paper for 20 years and have heretofore never been close to resolution.

So we all face our most natural deadline of the year – 2009’s over in 10 days.  Why not leverage off the deadline?  Maybe you don’t have to give up on a work goal, though only a few work days remain.  Fix on it.  Declare you’ll do it.  Go after it.  Maybe you can add a carrot to a deadline with your kids to prompt them to do something you and they know they can and should complete – a college application, an oil change, or a letter to grandma.  Maybe there’s something in your own life you can complete with a firm deadline in place: a visit to an aging relative, an act of forgiveness you have withheld, a gift of food, clothing or money to people in great need, or a return to church.

President Obama takes a risk every time he announces something will be done by a set date. Hit the mark or not, he focuses attention and energy. Like him or not, he offers a way to

Lead with your best self!

Dan

Dec

13

My 2009 Everyday Leader of the Year

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Dee Lindeman of Center Line, Michigan is my Everyday Leader of the Year for 2009. She was so upset about cuts to education that she said she was going to the Capitol in Lansing and she was going to talk to the legislature and the governor. In fact, she said, if they didn’t fix the cuts she would stay there for 10 days and 10 nights to show how strongly she felt.

She brought her tent and stayed in it about 17 hours per day. One day it was so muddy that she spent all day on the cold steps. Capitol rules prohibit sleeping on the law overnight, so she spent most of the ten nights sleeping in her car. A friend of ours who heard about that quietly paid for a night at the Radisson – another act of everyday leadership.

It’s kind of cool to march on the capitol. It’s fun to be part of something – big crowd, lots of signs, chanting and all. That too takes organization and sacrifice, and kudos to West Bloomfield which turned out 2,000 folks to make themselves heard. But to do it on your own initiative and to execute it alone, now that is truly something.

Maybe in 2010 we can all find our passionate concern about our world, take a bold step, and follow-through with the promises we make. It’s pretty obvious why Dee Lindeman is a model, for each of us to

Lead with our best self.

Dan

Dec

6

Tiger Woods and Conversational Leadership

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Friends,

Irish poet and marine zoologist David Whyte is my favorite writer about work.  He glistens like the leaves of the aspen tree that sparkle in a wind, fed by roots that can be thousands of year old.  He gets deep.  On my radio show on Saturday he spoke with the magic of Irish-poet, defending drink and uplifting work.  Jennifer said when I came home from the studio, “I just wanted to play him back over and over to get everything.”

One of the ideas that has grabbed Whyte and that he’s unfolding for us is the idea of “conversational leadership.”  What a contrast with Tiger Woods in his tortured week.  Tiger the icon.  A conversation was clearly the last thing he wanted.  Who could blame him?  Who’d want to be that vulnerable?  But, even before this, what would you talk to Tiger about anyway?  His supernatural confidence?  Who could relate to that?  His billions?  Rolex and Accenture love him precisely because he’s flawless, peerless, above conversation.

Whyte says one of the best things a leader can do is to be in conversation.  Being in conversation allows people to be real, and allows the soul to live at work.  And the key to a genuine conversation, Whyte says, is vulnerability.  How does a boss generate that human and genuine an environment I asked, and he was all over it.  He says it happens best when a leader says, “I don’t know.”  Interesting to think that maybe those are the  three most important words a leader can speak: I don’t know.  Those words level the ground for our kids, co-workers, or those who report to us.  They create room for dialogue and learning.  They create space for others to lead.  “I don’t know,” makes knowing important, but truth even more important.

Perhaps our fascination with the Tiger-perfect masks our deep hidden desire to be so great.  But if it’s everyday greatness you want to show and enable in others, treat yourself or a fellow leader to The Three Marriages or The Heart Aroused by David Whyte or have a listen to this 12-minute interview from the first segment of my show this week.  As you

Lead with your best self,

Dan

to listen to the audio of this post.

Dec

4

Will You Make 2010 a Great Year?

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At this point next year, things will be really different.  Stuff will happen, as sure as the seasons will change.  There is no way you can predict just where you’ll be, what successes you will have had, what sources of joy, and what defeats and frustrations.  But if there is one thing we know about leadership and management – personal and organizational – it’s that clarifying the destination, the end, the vision, the goal, and setting some strategy will measurably improve the chances that in the thousands of decisions and interactions ahead, you will achieve what you care about and value.  Conversely, if you head wherever you head, you’ll get wherever you get.

The problem is:  our lives ARE moving faster.  There is more to hear, see, and think about – as iPhones, Blackberries and all these other devices intrude into every last vestige of thinking time (I saw a TV yesterday in a restaurant bathroom, and another one on top of a gas pump outside!).

So, I strongly encourage you to create time and space, and the feedback of friends and counsel, to do some of that big thinking and planning.  And I would be happy to offer you a ready-made opportunity to do just that.  On Thursday and Friday , January 7th and 8th, I will convene a group of up to 15 people to engage in the scary-exciting process of looking at where they would like to be in three years, and a year from today, and then building plans and strategies to get there.  The retreat is half-full right now, and the group is comprised of a wonderfully diverse group of folks.  In two days they will get feedback from a broad range of work experiences and life experiences, and they will emerge with a tight network of folks to whom they can turn throughout the year for feedback and resources.

If you would like to join this group, please check out the retreats page on my website.  The early bird special ends at midnight on Friday, December 4.  Register now to save $300.

This “Meeting for Leading” will help people through the year ahead to

Lead with their best self,

Nov

29

Family, Work and the Work Family

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The ground we stand on feels so shaky and unsure these days.  Some call us to return to the past.  Others push to a new future.  In a way, I think they’re both right.

Jen, Jack and I had the privilege and pleasure of sharing a Shabbos dinner with our Orthodox Jewish friends, the Torgows.  Talk about looking back.  In their ancient tradition, Shabbos or Shabbat (or the Sabbath, to Christians) is a centuries-old ritual, and they live it in just that way.  For 24 hours beginning on sundown Friday, there’s no cars, cell phones, TV, VCRs, X-Box, PDAs, you get it.  Instead, they remember G-d who did some awesome work before He rested on the seventh day.  And they savor – or kvell in – the gift of family.  The supper-service began with a beautiful prayer of tribute to the women of the family.  At another point the fathers stood and blessed each of their sons, with a Hebrew blessing the dads read while pressing their lips to their son’s heads.  Five baby-to-toddler grandchildren were passed about, or padded around, throughout the meal.  Jennifer and I reflected on our way home how this central experience of Shabbat in the Torgow family combines with the technology black-out to produce a highly counter-cultural experience: Their adult children tend to stay near home.  Three of the four adult Torgow children wheeled their children home that evening in strollers.  While many of us celebrated our Thanksgiving weekend as a once-a-year family gathering, bookended by snarling air and road traffic; these folks experience the family gathering every week.

In our worlds in which we’re too busy to eat together, technology invades every last minute, and “successful” families see their children cast to the winds, the Orthodox Jews have rituals that center them and build families of enviable closeness and support.

On the other end of the spectrum, great modern businesses also celebrate family. Some just invite family in.  You can bring your daughters and sons to work – even if once a year – or visit them in the onsite daycare facility to humanize the work place (Google and others allow the family members of the pet kingdom in, too).  Some great workplace democracies like Ann Arbor’s Menlo Innovations (see a bunch of such cool companies at www.worldblu.com) encourage young moms to have their babies right there in their open workplace, and some force their workers to go home after 8 hours and to leave work at work.  Great businesses also create “family” among co-workers.  They beckon us into a world where work can be profoundly meaningful – not just because of what we do but also because of how and with whom we do it.  We are blessed in my wife’s administration to have built a community of people dedicated to making Michigan a better place and making their co-workers better people.  We hope in another year we will find places of such deep purpose, shared values, and kinship.  And we should thank the awesome business people who go to bed at night – especially in this great recession – thinking not just about how they will feed their own families, but how they will keep people employed and able to support theirs.

As we return from a weekend – a Shabbat or a Thanksgiving – we ought to fight the urge to depersonalize our work spaces and our fellow workers.  Whether you’re going back to centuries-old established traditions, or building new ones for a new culture, don’t lose sight of the great people about you and of the power of community,

As you lead with your best self,

Dan

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